The Confusion of A Prince
by wholockerlian
Summary: AU- Morte d'Arthur. Gaius never went to the island of the blessed, and Arthur gets a letter, saying goodbye. One-shot.


**Disclaimers... I don't own Merlin. I said it. :)**

**Warnings: none**

* * *

Merlin had acted strangely the other night, but Arthur paid no attention to this. His servant always seemed to find ways to surprise him: what with the clumsiness, then the wise words, then the absolute stupidity. It was only for this reason that he was not worried at all when Merlin had "talked" with him the other night.

Or at least that's what he told himself.

The idiot had told Arthur that they needed to talk. As if anyone can tell the king's son when to do anything! For some reason, the conversation had nevertheless continued on Merlin's terms. Then came the absurd. It appeared that the servant was quitting his position, but the he proceeded to tell the Prince that "he was happy to be his servant, until the day he died".

Was he saying goodbye?

But of course Arthur wasn't worried.

Except... Merlin hadn't come back in the morning.

Arthur looked down at the scroll he was holding. Gaius had passed it on to him, although for what reason, he wasn't sure. The physician had seemed sad, tired even. What if...

But no, a patient must have been unable to make it. That would make Gaius sad.

He unrolled the scroll and started reading.

**"Arthur,**

**As you know, and have told me many times, I am not a very good servant."**

So this was a letter from Merlin! He had been saying goodbye.

**"I'm sorry, I ****_was_**** not a very good servant."**

What?

**"When I came to Camelot, I had no idea what would happen. I didn't know that I would soon find myself serving and constantly saving His Royal Highness the Prat. The man who will become a great king. You. When Kilgharrah first told me that it was my destiny, I thought it was absurd. I thought that I wouldn't care if you lived or died, because I thought you were so much less than what you are. In your service, however, I learned many things. I learned that your socks smell bad no matter what you do to them, that you were not your father, and that, for whatever reason, I could not let you die. Why? I did not understand. I think I only understood when I saw you dying after the questing beast bit you. I realized that although you are a dollop-head, a clot-pole, a prat, and a prince, you were also my friend. Or you would have been. This is our tale, and I believe that it is truly wonderful.**

**But no matter. It was not your destiny, not your title, but you, and I wanted you to remember that. As I said today, or if it isn't today anymore, then, as I said the last time I saw you, I was happy to be your servant.**

**As for practical advice, first of all, don't be a prat (or don't become any more of a prat than you've always been). Second, if you go down near the dungeons, there will be someone who will be able to give counsel on things beyond our understanding. Third, Gaius is wiser than most think. If, no, ****_when_**** you are in need, go to him.** Here, there was a bit of writing thoroughly scratched out, then: **And fourth, if you ever find out about me, then please, know that I was born like this, and that I only ever used it for good and for you. It is not evil. No more evil than a sword.**

**Thank you, Arthur, for letting me serve you, and for showing me some truths that I wouldn't have believed when I first came to Camelot. Just don't let this letter inflate your already large head any more. It is not its purpose."**

Arthur could not understand. Anything, nothing. And there was only one person who might. Gaius.

* * *

Gaius was sitting on Merlin's bed. He had his head bowed. How could the silly boy have done it?! It was stupid, ridiculous. His mother would die anyway, once she found out about her son. She would die of grief. **_Do not tell her_**, the note in his hand read. **_No matter what, do not tell her, please._** The note said a great deal of other things, too. The physician felt a tear run down his cheek. If only he hadn't injured himself in a fall the other day. Then he could save the young man who had brought hope and love into his life. He would gladly have given himself for Merlin. He heard a knock at the door. It was Arthur Pendragon.

And when everything was explained to the Prince, all he could think of for several hours as he was unknowingly crying is that now their story,_ his and Merlin's story_, will never be finished.

* * *

** So, tell me if you liked it, hated it, laughed, (cried?)... And sorry for anything you might not like. :)**


End file.
